A slightly different feel for Dads and Don’ts today as I won’t be sharing the Don’ts for this situation, this is more for anyone that may be going through something similar or happens to them in the future to refer to or remember so that they are not alone..
So we had the pleasure of welcoming our second child into the world on Tuesday 30th March after a rather quick but complicated labour where Lily showed strength I don’t think I could ever muster in all of my lifetime and suddenly we were a family of 4 with our baby boy Eden added to the bunch.
Everything was good with Eden and Lily and before 8pm we were allowed to go home the same day! This felt so different to last time, where was the 5 day hospital stay. Where were the nurses who can help with what to do with a newborn, to be honest we felt relieved and ready this time and were grateful to be home and to only be away from Dahlia for one night..
We were trying to adapt to a home routine when Lily started to notice some twitching in Eden but wasn’t sure, you see Dahlia had a form of infancy epilepsy from 2 weeks old which started the same way but were we just being paranoid after what we had been through.. We trusted our gut instinct and asked the midwife to take a look at the twitching and they agreed that it wasn’t the normal behaviour from a newborn and we were transferred to hospital. A day later and Eden had 2 mild seizures in one day so that started the chain reaction of tests we had already been through before with Dahlia to find out why he was having them. This time round we were a bit more relaxed as we knew the process and know that Dahlia no longer suffers from them so thought we would be home in a few days with the same care plan however Eden’ s seizures were stronger and lasted longer than Dahlias so we have been kept in for longer. It said a currently day 8 in hospital as I write this. If you are expecting or have a newborn who you notice may be a bit twitchy do just ask advice from a midwife or watch an infantile seizure video (viewers discretion not the easiest watch) to see if you see any similar traits. I am assured by the consultants that they feel no pain during a seizure though.
I now move on to our amazing NHS, I will start with a slight moan which is about their rules and not their amazing staff themselves before moving on to saying how much they have done for us. There is a rule in place which only allows for one parent to stay with the child at any one time. In most cases I agree with this however in our case I don’t for the following reasons:
We had our own room with a lot of space so that wasn’t an issue
As a breastfeeding mother Lily had to stay so wasn’t really an option of who could stay
As he was 4 days old upon being admitted Lily also gave birth only 4 days ago and needed bed rest badly something she could not easily get without a partner at night and would have gotten at home
Fathers can miss out on key bonding time in the beginning
Now trust me that wasn’t a proper moan in the slightest as I am so grateful for the care of both of my children however I feel it’s a rule that should be reviewed in newborn children..
So onto the amazing stuff:
Every single nurse who was on shift was so nice, helpful, talkative, tactful, knowledgable and assuring during our whole stay
We were kept informed of every stage of testing or check completed
We never had to wait for anyone if we needed anything
Dahlias birthday was during our stay and they even got her a present and wanted to decorate the room with balloons for her
During a transfer in a non blue light ambulance Eden had a rather strong seizure and the nurse who was not long in the role was so confident and decisive that he was able to get the very best care and outcome which could have ended a lot worse than it did
Now lastly onto normality, now we don’t know what that is at the moment, poor Dahlia has been split between both sets of parents houses during our stay with the odd visit up to the hospital and we actually haven’t learned how we are going to work as a family unit of four and also how to handle two kids at once singularly as parents especially as both are at an age with high demands for attention. How do we integrate Dahlia to her new brother and get them to bond. How do we get into our nightly routine and lastly why is it that both of our children have had the probable same thing as newborns.
All of this is part of the adventure I know and I am confident we will get there but remember life is real, it isn’t all pretty and perfect as we would like to make out it is but we get by and do the best for our families but it’s not a weakness to feel down, scared, anxious it shows that there are things in your life that you live for now and there are so many amazing support tools and networks out there that I will start to list soon on my account because I personally know I should talk about it but don’t really know how, it’s probably the reason why I wrote this post.. oh and also remember to #loveyournhs
If any of you have been or are in this situation and want to talk about any of it then please drop me a message I’d love to hear from you..
If you would like to add any Don’ts advice from your own experiences then please comment below or email me them and don’t forget to follow me and check out my Instagram & Facebook page for more views of my day to day life @dads_and_donts